video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : The Don And The Boss ( song ) … Vybz Kartel + Busta Rhymes

This is an ode to big “bumpa” women like Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion. That specific celebrities are mentioned by name during the hook serves as the song’s one notable blunder.

The vocals, specifically their Rastafarian delivery, and the beat; the sole purpose of which is for sweaty subservient females to dance like they’re fucking to; make for a sultry club banger.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

audio review : Starships ( song ) … Nicki Minaj

If you’re wondering what this has to do with starships; theoretical ships used to travel to and from stars; the answer is apparently nothing. An alien-looking girl sings about how they’re meant to “fly”, but that’s about it. This is actually a song for dance floors on planet Earth, as the flashy club music it plays upon; a mesh of European house and techno; seems to insist.

Nicki Minaj is sort of charming during the first eight bars of each verse, when it’s just her rapping, then rapping and singing, to a stripped-down version of the main melody. But the chorus sections sound like the template for a generic Lady Gaga anthem and the “higher” breaks, which distract from the flow of the song in the most annoying of ways, are a cosmic mess.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

album review : Roman Reloaded ( album ) ... Nicki Minaj