video review : 3 From Hell

video review : 3 From Hell

When I first heard Rob Zombie would bring back The Devil’s Rejects after they went out like Thelma And Louise nearly a decade and a half ago, I figured it would be some sort of prequel. This isn’t. It’s a bona fide sequel featuring the original members with one disappointing caveat.

While all 3 Rejects are here, Captain Spaulding, the most enthralling, is limited to a cameo role. That’s reportedly the result of real-life health problems. The actor, Sid Haig, is 80 years old. He’s replaced by a less interesting brother of Otis, who helps him (Otis) escape from prison.

That’s one of many blatant implausibilities happening in this movie, including the fact that the Rejects are still alive in the first place, though it’s Baby’s escape that’s most absurd. Once the new trio is set, the plot starts to get good, but by then it’s almost at the halfway point.

The best parts are still the kills; what I like most about Rob Zombie movies is the amoral depiction of brutal violence; but 3 seems incomplete without Cutter. A phone call in Mexico gives the peak dramatic suspense, but this is the worst movie in the Firefly trilogy.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : 31

video review : 31

The first scene, a black and white introduction to a Jokeresque clown; but don’t call him that; named Doom Head, is intense. 31, named after the game of death five unlucky protagonists find themselves in, mostly falters from there. It’s Rob Zombie’s version of Saw; some people are actually killed with chainsaws; perhaps a sign the filmmaker is running out of ideas.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Halloween 2

video review : Halloween 2

This sequel isn’t a remake of the sequel to the Halloween the Halloween this is a sequel to is a remake of. It’s a new story. And if you’re confused, ghostly white horses will only make matters worse. Rob Zombie outdid John Carpenter with the liberties he took in 1, but he goes too far here. The first twenty-something minutes are a thrill, then a flashforth happens and Halloween is over.

At least that’s how it feels between kills. Those are the best parts. Laurie Strode and her PTSD are far less interesting, along with Samuel Loomis and his book. Even The Bogeyman himself is a bore; wandering around unmasked with a hood and beard, seeing visions of his mother and that damn white horse; when he isn’t severing a security guard’s spine or bashing a stripper’s face in.

my rating : 3 of 5

2009