Which Halloween movie is the best?

This is an easy one because there’s only one good Halloween movie; Rob Zombie’s remake of the original. All the rest; said original, all other remakes and sequels included; are mediocre at best. The worst; Season Of The Witch; is downright atrocious.

I like Michael Myers as a character. His stoic ominous ways make him the quintessential bogeyman; a classic horror movie villain à la Frankenstein; but his legacy has been ruined by vacuous storytelling. Even Zombie’s sequel is a disappointment.

my vote : Halloween

video review : Halloween

my Halloween reviews

Halloween :

video review : Halloween

Halloween 2 :

video review : Halloween 2

Halloween 3 [ Season Of The Witch ] :

video review : Halloween 3 [ Season Of The Witch ]

Halloween 4 [ The Return Of Michael Myers ] :

video review : Halloween 4 [ The Return Of Michael Myers ]

Halloween 5 :

video review : Halloween 5

Halloween : The Curse Of Michael Myers :

video review : Halloween : The Curse Of Michael Myers

Halloween : H20 [ 20 Years Later ] :

video review : Halloween : H20 [ 20 Years Later ]

Halloween : Resurrection :

video review : Halloween : Resurrection

Halloween :

video review : Halloween

Halloween 2 :

video review : Halloween 2

Halloween :

video review : Halloween

Halloween Kills :

video review : Halloween Kills

Halloween Ends :

video review : Halloween Ends

video review : 3 From Hell

video review : 3 From Hell

When I first heard Rob Zombie would bring back The Devil’s Rejects after they went out like Thelma And Louise nearly a decade and a half ago, I figured it would be some sort of prequel. This isn’t. It’s a bona fide sequel featuring the original members with one disappointing caveat.

While all 3 Rejects are here, Captain Spaulding, the most enthralling, is limited to a cameo role. That’s reportedly the result of real-life health problems. The actor, Sid Haig, is 80 years old. He’s replaced by a less interesting brother of Otis, who helps him (Otis) escape from prison.

That’s one of many blatant implausibilities happening in this movie, including the fact that the Rejects are still alive in the first place, though it’s Baby’s escape that’s most absurd. Once the new trio is set, the plot starts to get good, but by then it’s almost at the halfway point.

The best parts are still the kills; what I like most about Rob Zombie movies is the amoral depiction of brutal violence; but 3 seems incomplete without Cutter. A phone call in Mexico gives the peak dramatic suspense, but this is the worst movie in the Firefly trilogy.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : 31

video review : 31

The first scene, a black and white introduction to a Jokeresque clown; but don’t call him that; named Doom Head, is intense. 31, named after the game of death five unlucky protagonists find themselves in, mostly falters from there. It’s Rob Zombie’s version of Saw; some people are actually killed with chainsaws; perhaps a sign the filmmaker is running out of ideas.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : The Lords Of Salem

video review : The Lords Of Salem

It’s the supernatural theme, which has to do with witches and Satan, that holds this otherwise interesting movie down. The best parts are when humans engage in normal conversations, albeit often about said abnormal topics. When creatures appear and the horror begins, mostly in the form of abstract cutaways revolving around a radio DJ named Heidi, the plot grinds to a bloody halt.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : House Of 1000 Corpses

video review : House Of 1000 Corpses

This movie is less about the House than its occupants; a family of sadistic killers that make The Addams look normal. The Corpses are the mummified remains of their victims, most of whom were tortured to death.

An unlucky four pay an inadvertent visit the night before Halloween after picking up a hitchhiker girl. The car suddenly breaks down, so the girl says she lives within walking distance and her brother has a tow truck.

There isn’t really much of a plot beyond that and there doesn’t need to be. The charm of this horror flick, which is directed, occasionally like a song video, by White Zombie frontman Rob Zombie, is its zany gory style.

my rating : 4 of 5

2003

video review : The Devil’s Rejects
video review : 3 From Hell

video review : Halloween 2

video review : Halloween 2

This sequel isn’t a remake of the sequel to the Halloween the Halloween this is a sequel to is a remake of. It’s a new story. And if you’re confused, ghostly white horses will only make matters worse. Rob Zombie outdid John Carpenter with the liberties he took in 1, but he goes too far here. The first twenty-something minutes are a thrill, then a flashforth happens and Halloween is over.

At least that’s how it feels between kills. Those are the best parts. Laurie Strode and her PTSD are far less interesting, along with Samuel Loomis and his book. Even The Bogeyman himself is a bore; wandering around unmasked with a hood and beard, seeing visions of his mother and that damn white horse; when he isn’t severing a security guard’s spine or bashing a stripper’s face in.

my rating : 3 of 5

2009

video review : Halloween

video review : Halloween

The Halloween series resets itself again, this time all the way back to the 1978 original. It’s a remake by Rob Zombie and easily the best movie in the franchise. That’s mostly due to the liberties it takes with the plot, a third of which focuses, close-up and shaky, on “Mikey” as a psychopathic child.

Character backstories are usually best left untold, or at least kept to a minimum, especially the enigmatic Bogeyman type, but the case study of Michael Myers, led by Malcolm McDowell as doctor Samuel Loomis, lends a layer of poignancy to the later kill scenes. It also explains why he wears the mask.

my rating : 4 of 5

2007

video review : The Devil’s Rejects

video review : The Devil's Rejects

The Devil’s Rejects, also known as The Firefly Clan, are a family of Satanic killers. They slay people at will and store their body parts in the confines of their country home. This movie serves as both a homage and a documentary of their lives.

As mean and violent as they are, they carry a sinister charm, especially the Baby sister. She’s like the kid in school who sicced her big brother on innocent boys and got turned on by the sight of the blood. That brother is scary. So is the father.

Some of the acting is flawed. Sheri Moon has the tendency to come across unconvincingly in her role and there’s a scene in which a crying kid looks like he’s laughing, but there is plenty of evil entertainment to be found amidst the wackiness.

my rating : 4 of 5

2005

video review : 3 From Hell