audio review : Justin Bieber ( song ) … Bizarre + King Gordy

Neither rapper mentions putting their tongue in Justin Bieber’s ass; only their dicks; so this is only tongue-in-cheek in the literal sense. It’s a dedication to the pop star. It’s also a direct threat that goes from what they “want” to do to what they’re “going” to do to him, which includes not only rape but also murder.

With that, joke or not, the “white boy” might have a legal case if, with the ridiculous conceptualization of “hate” crimes, he decides to take the song seriously. He could say he fears for his life, and anus, but it’ll be a hard case to win given the history of King Gordy and especially Bizarre as shock value artists.

my rating = 3 of 5


audio review : Shady XV

audio review : Shady XV

If there were any doubt, you need not go further than the first song on this set to establish the fact that Eminem can still rap his ass off. He’s rarely as great as he once was; his last classic verse was probably from 2011’s BET Cypher; but this title track, which consists of one long verse over a sparse rock beat, trumps all of his pop peers. That includes his own artists, which Shady XV; a very needless 15-year Shady Records celebration; is designed to showcase.

The concept is reminiscent of Michael Jackson’s History; one half new songs, one half old songs; though that comes via an awkward 12/15 split. I also question the oddly-sequenced tracklist, which, as far as the old songs go, ignores whole albums; namely every Eminem solo; in favor of double dips. The new songs also miss the mark musically. Eminem peaks early with that first song. The rest represents his label for all the mediocrity its released over the years.

The Slim Shady LP, The Marshall Mathers LP, Devil’s Night, Relapse; all good albums. Most of the rest are just okay. So while Eminem remains my favorite rapper, it has little to do with albums or songs. My Band and Purple Pills are funny, but the new “D-12” song, which doesn’t even feature Em, is a joke. There are solid beats here, but no noteworthy hooks. Skylar Grey and Kobe are seemingly talentless. He should stop featuring them on his songs.

Not that Sia does any better. Shady foolishly bashes his own We Made You single, from his aforementioned Relapse album, but that song, at least the beat and chorus, trumps everything (new) here. I’ll say for the third time that the Shady XV theme track is a lyrical triumph, but the self-proclaimed Rap God is generally rapping too fast these days. His new verbose style, which crams so many words in a verse that it often makes him sound off-beat, is annoying.

my rating = 3 of 5


audio review : The Slim Shady LP ( album ) .. Eminem
audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP ( album ) .. Eminem
audio review : Devil’s Night ( album ) .. D-12
audio review : Relapse ( album ) .. Eminem
audio review : Recovery ( album ) .. Eminem
audio review : Hell [ The Sequel ] ( album ) … Bad Meets Evil
audio review : Welcome To Our House ( album ) … Slaughterhouse
audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP 2 ( album ) … Eminem